What does an end-of-life doula actually do?

Well, here I am… my first letter to the outside world.

During my certification, I was asked to create an “elevator speech.” I am often asked, “What does an end-of-life doula actually do?” It’s a valid question, since it seems like a new idea, though it actually has ancient roots. As a society, we understand the role of a birth doula. End-of-life doulas support the other “guaranteed” event in life, and that support is for the individual and their circle.

In plain words, I’m a trained, non-medical companion who helps people and their families plan, stay present, and feel less alone at the end of life.

So, let’s get into the elevator together. Lend me your ear…

I will strive to listen to those who want to delve into the topic of the end of life, whether it comes from a place of curiosity, concern, fear, obligation, or peace, and whether it is about one’s own mortality, someone they love, or death as a concept to understand at a deeper level. I will do this by listening and meeting people where they are. Through listening and guided questions, I hope to build understanding and practice that support each person’s beliefs, wishes, and desires.

By walking beside an individual on their journey, I will make space for whatever needs they have. I will hold space for circles of care, supporting their roles, emotions, and questions with compassion and gentle smiles. Learning and growth will be ever present, so that I may enrich people’s experiences while remaining centered and focused on their desires.

I wrote that at the start of my training. A year later, I’m certified, and I still mean every word.

If you’ve been wondering about any of this, for yourself or for someone you love, I’d be glad to talk. Call or text me at (240) 925-5145. Or come to the panel on Medical Aid in Dying at Starr Library on Wednesday, November 18, and bring your questions.

Erika